


You Might Be My Salvation

by KittyBits



Category: Teen Wolf (TV), teen wolf - Fandom
Genre: Canonical Character Death, F/M, M/M, Promiscuity, Public Sex, Salvation, Sexual Content, Unhealthy Coping-mecanisms
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-15
Updated: 2012-11-15
Packaged: 2017-11-18 17:57:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,118
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/563841
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KittyBits/pseuds/KittyBits
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It takes three years for Derek to start having sex again.</p><p>Or: The one were Derek uses sex to forget until he realises it doesn't help.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You Might Be My Salvation

**Author's Note:**

> This took me ten minutes to write; please forgive me any spelling or grammatical mistakes.

It takes three years for Derek to start having sex again.

It happens at a college party and she has short, spiky, black hair and big blinking blue eyes. She's as unlike Kate in personality as Derek could find too, but when she slides to her knees in front of him he still almost whimpers and fall to his again, whisper ”I want to taste you,” and goes down on her, only to prevent her from doing it to him.

It gave Kate too much power over him when she first looked up at him from under her eye lashes. Derek doubt he can ever trust anyone enough to let them do that.

After she comes, he fucks her.

Missionary and with an unending rain of wet kisses.

Kate was always on top, looking down at him with a gleeful look and Derek had thought it was because of him and it wasn't, it had been his submission.

He tells her he'll call her and leave her after making out with her for fifteen minutes in her door.

When he rounds her corner he finds his phone and erases her number, by the next block he's forgotten her name.

He starts going to clubs.

He's only eighteen, but when he first shows up at Hell Hole the bouncer waves him in without even checking his fake ID. He gets hit on by three different guys before he reaches the bar but ends up sucking off the bartender in the liqueur depot and he feels like he owns the world when he comes down his throat with a hoarse shout.

He gets his drinks for free from then on. Sometimes because he come round back with Martin, the bartender. Other times because horny men are all to happy to pay your drinks when you smirk at them the right way and let them fuck you in the back alley after.

Laura starts to worry about him, but he only shrugs at her pleas and goes out again.

Goes to class, does his assignments on time and what's really there for Laura to worry about? She has her job and trying to decide what to do with the territory and Uncle Peter back in Beacon Hills.

Derek parties. Gets fucked. Blows guys.

He almost never hooks up with women anymore. They don't do as much for him, doesn't let him feel in control enough.

They remind him too much of Kate and sometimes when he fucks them they do something and suddenly he feels like being sick.

It doesn't do any good for either of them, so by the age of twenty-two he starts to think of himself as gay.

Laura doesn't blink an eye, only smiles at him and says she's cool with it; she loves him no matter what.

He wonders if she knows what went down with him and Kate and goes out and drinks so much he starts to feel a bit light-headed before Martin tells him to go home.

Derek finds a new place, where the bartender doesn't know his name and won't try to act protective boyfriend-like of him – he gets enough unnecessary protectiveness from Laura.

He's in the middle of deep-throating a guy when he feels it.

It feels like his heart is suddenly cut in half and he pulls away and pants for breath, clutches his hand to his chest.

He knows this sensation; he's felt it before.

He takes Laura's car, drive through the night, high on adrenaline and despair, parks toofastnotfastenough at the old burned-down house and he smells her, follows her tracks into the forest and there she is.

There half of her is.

He doesn't recognize the smell. He doesn't know who killed her. He calls one of the werewolves they were acquainted with back in New York, asks her to take care of his things; he's not going back.

She agrees and Derek buries Laura in front of their childhood home; a place he hasn't been for eight years and Laura only once a year for the same period of time.

He howls against the moon in his wolf form.

He's a Beta without an Alpha, but he will get his revenge.

He gets it.

He gets his revenge and it doesn't make him feel any better. He tries to do other things; invites Scott to start a pack with him only to be turned down. Turns Erica, Isaac, and Boyd and it's something but it's not Laura, it's not family.

Not really.

Isaac likes Scott better and Boyd and Erica never fully trust him.

The first time after Laura dies that Derek feels at ease, he's trapped in a pool, paralyzed and only kept alive by a puny teenager, treading water for three hours while the Kanima stalks the edge of the water, hissing.

A part of him hates Stiles for feeling like that.

Another part wants to turn him, feels like it could be the start of a _true_ pack. Of family.

But Stiles is Scott's friend first and foremost, even when Scott is being an awful friend back and only cares about his girlfriend-ex-girlfriend-girlfriend and her fucked up family, and Derek knows it was stupid but he couldn't help what he did to Victoria Argent; she was trying to kill him.

Allison will probably never forgive him, but she will learn to live with it. Especially after Scott ends up being the reason her grandfather dies.

Peter being back gives Derek enough to deal with, but somehow Stiles manages to sneak his way into the negotiations with the Alpha Pack, and for some reason it goes easier when he's there.

Derek knows he has a bad temper, but he isn't stupid – he should be able to do something like negotiations without Stiles as a crutch, but he calms him. His presence eases Derek's mind.

“They think he's your mate,” Peter explains him and Derek growls at him.

Mostly because a part of him knows it's true.

The Alpha Pack leaves and Stiles turns and smiles at Derek when the cars are out of sight and Derek leans in and kisses him.

Back inside the burnt ruin Stiles falls to his knees and pulls Derek's pants down. Derek lets him.

And when Stiles looks up at him from under his eye lashes Derek can't see any glee or sense of victory, it's all joyful excitement and lust and a tinge of affection and he rubs his hand over Stiles' stubbled head and settles it around his neck.

He comes in Stiles' mouth, and for some inexplicable reason the sight of Stiles coughing and wiping his mouth is the most beautiful sight Derek has ever seen.  


End file.
